I'll start with a quick poem..
I met this girl on Monday
Took her for a drink on Tuesday
We were making love by Wednesday
And on Thursday and Friday and Saturday
We chilled on Sunday
Actually, it's not a poem - it's an ear worm.
Seven Days was the soundtrack to the start of the new millennium by Craig David - the singer, songwriter, DJ and rapper who has somehow managed to swindle an MBE out of the British Empire.
Brits can't think about poor old Craig without flashbacks to his latex doppelgänger on the Bo-Selecta TV show. It was ludicrous. And it's since been pulled from Channel 4's streaming service following the introspection that followed George Floyd's death and the Black Lives Matter movement. Like many TV shows that seemed funny 20 years ago, Bo-Selecta has been hidden away in the basement like a creepy uncle.
This caricature with a such a cult following clearly damaged Craig David's image, and resulted in a generation of people unable to take him or his music seriously.
It's amazing how a whole chunk of his career was lost through no fault of his own, because a random comedian decided to ridicule him. In addition to his career, his mental wellbeing was also affected.
Leigh Francis, the creator of Bo-Selecta has since apologised publicly for the insensitivity of his actions and the impact on David and others.
Despite the prominence of this TV show, the Seven Days lyrics are the most memorable thing about Craig David.
I've recently been reading Contagious by Jonah Berger - a book about how word of mouth works, and how ideas catch. He talks about linking ideas to Triggers (e.g. Have a Break, have a Kit Kat - a cleaver marketing campaign that made it impossible to not think of the chocolate bar at break time) and how the notion of 'triggering' thoughts can be designed in to brand names, marketing messages and even political movements.
This powerful marketing principle accidentally keeps Craig David alive in my mind. Every time somebody says "I'll put a Teams Call in for Monday..." I automatically roll David's lyrics.
I literally can't shake the song off.
On Wednesday, I took a long train ride with one of the Resulting team who is managing a very complex SAP upgrade. There are lots of moving parts and parties involved, and we're acting as the programme management glue - holding things together and holding people to account to ensure our customer's plan sticks.
Acting in a business-side capacity, our job is to deliver independent, honest, but sometimes unpopular feedback. We have to be able to cut through the noise and get to the stuff that matters most.
Trouble is, people shy way from bad news and prefer to report positive status rather than take the flak for announcing delays - much better that it's somebody else's problem, or that they track as green for now, declaring red once they're absolutely sure there's a problem.
The stress, political and commercial dynamics surrounding large technology programmes exacerbate these behaviours - as stressful intensifies, finger pointing gets more pointy, and slopey shoulders become steeper, and more slippery.
Enter the Watermelon scenario - green on the outside, but red on the inside.
When SAP programmes go long, it's usually due to a Watermelon reporting culture.
Things that are really red are reported as green.
Our job is to crack open the right watermelons so that we find the things that are really red among the things that are tracking green on the surface. There's a real knack to doing this, and some of our people who work in a business-side capacity are exceptional at it.
One trick they use is what I call Craig David's Watermelon.
These are regular status reviews that identify things that are tracking green on Monday, still looking green on Tuesday, but flashing red by Wednesday.
Static RAG (Red Amber Green) tracking doesn't pick this up.
But time-bound RAG tracking does. There should be no sudden colour jumps from red to green on subsequent reviews without going through amber. We're looking for surprises and making it clear that we'll track status regularly and relentlessly.
The other trick - make sure you clearly define what red, amber and green actually mean - so that there's no ambiguity.
This process isn't about hanging people out to dry, it's about creating an environment where people have a regular, drumbeat opportunity to provide honest status and ask for help to ensure that status tracks smoothly without colour jumps.
It's proper Bo.
